Mike Cannon-Brookes bought a jet

My former colleague Mark Di Stefano had a tremendous scoop this morning in the Australian Financial Review: Atlassian billionaire and climate change warrior Mike Cannon-Brookes has bought a new private jet to ferry him around the world in high style and convenience.

It was only a matter of time until the man-child I dubbed Double Bay Jesus succumbed to the temptation. As Di Stefano points out, there is nothing remarkable about a billionaire acquiring a jet. The newsworthiness (and comedy) is in the hypocrisy. Cannon-Brookes is also not the first Rich Lister to hector us about the way Australia should be run (all while Atlassian routes its taxable income through every jurisdiction besides Australia), but he's one of the loudest, and his biggest gripe has always been the nation's carbon footprint.

In response to the Rear Window item, Double Bay Jesus jumped on LinkedIn to self-justify. "Personal security is the primary reason" he'd purchased a plane, calling it "an unfortunate reality in my world." Watching him lie to himself so publicly in order to maintain his self-narrative of a moral actor is actually more delicious than the jet purchase itself. Marvel, will you, at the logical contortion: First class on Emirates or Qantas is just too dangerous for me. Yeah mate, how many times have Nicole Kidman or Hugh Jackman been kidnapped from the baggage carousel?

You'd actually respect Mike if he'd said, "Yep, I bought it 'cos I can and 'cos I just wanna," and then saw fit never to lecture us again.

Props to Di Stef. Great yarn.

Sticking with the plane theme, I was giving Vanessa Hudson a hard time earlier this week for pretending – Mike Cannon-Brookes-like – that it was terrific news for customers that Qantas is changing the seats and carpets on 42 ancient domestic 737-800s because Alan Joyce hadn't ordered anywhere near enough new planes to retire them. Again, you just wish she'd call it straight. "I can't afford to fully renew the domestic fleet because I'm having to renew the entire international fleet at the same time. Thanks a lot, Alan. OK, true, I was his CFO…" You'd absolutely pay that if she said it.

Qantas chairman John Mullen gave a speech this week to the Australian Institute of Company Directors, the trade union for professional board members, being the highest-paid casual labour force in the nation.

Mullen said a number of perfectly reasonable things, but I won't dwell on those. He said two things that struck me as dubious – or at least insufficiently qualified by self-awareness.